The Garden

 

Isn't this beautiful? I felt like a real videographer when I compiled these clips together. Alone, they feel sort of random but they feel cinematic together!

The gif is relevant, I swear! I woke up at 7:06 in the morning and I decided to draw after replying to a student's email. For background noise, I put on the talk, "People, Plants and Pleasure: A Conversation with Zheng Bo" from The Huntington, and I was surprisingly inspired by it. 

I originally clicked on it because it's a relatively shorter talk, and the fact that it has a Chinese speaker, but I walked away with some ideas that I think are interesting. Let's talk about it!

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Returning to what our ancestors have always done.

At the start-ish, Philip Bloom asked if their practice helped them connect better with nature. The idea of ci gong seems to be very self-oriented, while Bloom noticed "energy-exchange practice with the environment" in he way Zheng practices it (8:54). 

In response, Zheng shared that they aren't doing anything new, that they're "returning to [their] origin" when the practice started hundreds of years ago, where ancestors did things in nature, plants and animals (9:10). 

I wonder about how accurate the ancestor part is. It could easily be turned into nostalgia bait where we romanticise the past as a 'pre-paradise' because we don't know how it felt back then.

However, I do agree with the point that a connection with nature should be normalised in our urban spaces and lifestyle. They say there's 'bad energy' in urban spaces, where the Los Angeles air smells bad, for example, and to return to the garden, to nature, is a restoration of what life should be. 

There should be spaces and times carved out in daily life that encourage people to step away from the grind of everyday living, of being so immersed in the stresses of the urban environment. Capitalism, one's job, heck, even the not-very-pretty landscape. I love the trees that furnish Singapore's landscape. They add character and give me something nice to look at, even if only in the background.

Whenever I go on walks, I try to notice the little things in nature. The flower, the leaf, or if I'm lucky, the cute bird and butterfly. It's not much in our built environment, but it's a good reminder to look away from the things that tie us down in daily urban life and breathe in the fresh air. Perhaps this is what life is supposed to be, but it feels more like a chore to pull oneself away from work or a luxury of time.

I thought Zheng's idea of an 'ideal life' of running through a forest naked is hilarious but also valid. That sort of freedom is so impossible today that it can only be described as 'silly' or even 'crude'.

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Drawing plants.

On and off, Zheng talks about the act of drawing nature. 

They talk about a big project they did where they visited a story of a great thinker in the Ming dynasty who went mad in a bamboo field. They grew bamboo in big square-shaped pots and encouraged people to draw bamboo leaves. After that, they took the drawings to compost them, sort of to return them to the earth.

Then, later in the talk, they talked about the habit of drawing. While they're interested in drawing fish, they still talk about plants, citing that plants are everywhere, including the desert.

It seemed serendipitous that at the time, I was working on the background of a drawing I've been fond of for a while now. It's a scene of apples in the middle of an apple field. I plan to add more grass blades next to the apples but there's this vague sense of connection like, 'Look at me! I'm doing the thing too!'

I finished the background while listening to that wonderful talk!

I just thought that was a fun coincidence. 

At any rate, later that day, I went on a walk as part of my routine. I sent an email to my professor about an essay, with a slight tinge of irony and embarrassment, as I'm a TA who has to answer such emails from students, and now I'm panicking over whether he'll reply. 

I'm anxious over whether it's appropriate to approach him in person to say, 'Hey I sent you an email about my essay, have you seen it?' I think it's rude, but at the same time, I need to know! Anyway, it's a bit forward and passive-aggressive, but objectively, it's not rude, especially if I'm not blunt about it. 

Anyway, I'm stressed about the ethics of that, and so I took a walk. Outside, I felt how hot the sun was, I saw the way the light creates bright, almost dreamlike rimlighting on leaves, and I saw a cool bird in the drain. Nature is truly a beautiful thing. It drew me out of my hazy thoughts and made me notice something concrete.

Is this moment in any way related to Zheng's talk? Not really, but I agree that nature is inspiring. It heals my soul and makes me want to draw something new (Una and the lion!).

—

There's a place for everyone.

In my fourth year of university, I read Ian McEwan's Solar, which talks about how dysfunctional eco-friendly initiatives and ideals are. At some point, I remembered a group of artsy-fartsy people who contribute to the climate change process with their art, like ice sculptures. The novel generally criticises people like that for being performative and not actually doing anything meaningful or concrete. 

In a way, I kind of agree. Zheng's work doesn't immediately lead to direct policy changes, and it might look a bit silly. However, I don't think that's the point.

I think it's great that people like Zheng exist and are given a platform. People with interesting backgrounds, ideas about the world and crafts they dedicate their lives to. They take up space in such a meaningful and inspiring way. They remind me to be more ambitious with my own platforms, no matter how small and my art, no matter how sloppy. 

It's also nice to hear what he has to say about life. Yes, naked-running-through-the-forest aside, Zheng mentions that people should spend more time in the garden, take a nap in it, do a drawing, such that the garden "will feel more part of our living experience and not just an object."

Just last night, I was worried about whether I'll find a job, about whether I'll find happiness in a corporate life. I worry a lot, clearly. In that vein, Zheng's words hit just right. There's truly more to life than just the worries I have in my head. 

I can see the sunlight, touch a chewed-out leaf hanging off a branch or draw a little. Or better yet, I can take the time to watch an insightful talk and think, "Wow, I'm so smart!"

Enjoy the same gif but in its original 9:16 aspect ratio. I used this gif on my personal art website in the 'About' page.  I think it adds a lot of character and colour. Truly delightful.

So yes, those are my reflections. Call it a happy accident that I found this talk at the time that I did. I hope to do more reflections as time goes on.

Some art I did! // Sir Gawain and the Green Knight fan art!

A handsome headshot

 

I can't get the Sir Gawain and the Green Knight poem out of my head. King Bertilak is such a handsome fellow that I have to draw him.

Right now, I have drew his head, which I like a lot. It's my first time drawing a beard and it doesn't look too bad. I think it works this time.

Every time I try to draw facial hair, I'd always think to myself, "Eh... It looks weird" and erase it. It suits him proper now, especially if I draw more wrinkles around the cheeks.

Now, I wonder how he should look in the final drawing. Should he be sitting or lying down... I'm confused. I'll leave it here for now :) I have work to do so hopefully that should give me a new perspective.

Also, since I'm here, I want to show you a drawing I did not too long ago.

When I finish this, I think I'll be super proud of it! I like the shape of his hat, though I'll have to clean up the back flap there. I think his moustache is quite charming and I like his hair. He's handsome but in a less rough way. 

I'm envisioning a green foresty scene for this. While writing, I suddeny thought of making him a cowboy and somehow, that makes sense. I can't unsee it... 

Edit: 5:38 pm, 15 September 2025.

A potential sketch!

The anatomy is a little janky but I like the composition. I want him to sit on grass, with trees in the background. I'm tempted to make him a giant where there's villages in the foreground (that's what the rectangle-blobs are for). I want him to hold his axe too.

For the colours, I'm thinking highly saturated reds and blues like this:

Or something highly saturated like this.

Before I even think of colouring, I'll have to finish the lineart... Good luck to me! I love feeling inspired.

Edit: 12:24pm, 16 September 2025 

Something I'm finally happy with!

I feel I like drawing handsome men lying down too much... Yet, there's a reason why I keep doing this! I keep beating myself up for not switching it up, for always relying on this cliche. Still, I think this composition makes the most sense for the vibes. I'll challenge myself elsewhere LOL

At any rate, I've decided to have him be a giant lying down amidst a forest with trees and bushes. There's a little figure on his stomach. That's Sir Gawain. I'm going to draw him on his horse meeting this giant man.

If I do the lighting right, Gawain would be glowing with fuzzy sunlight.

I like that the colour palette immediately changed when I saw a new reference picture.

My ideal colour palette :)

I think following this colour palette will let me play with more greens. I can't wait to make his eyes red. This drawing will have so much green in it and I'm not complaining! I keep wanting to draw new poses and I beat myself up for not 'mixing it up'. That said, I think this is good enough. I can challenge myself in a different piece LOL

I bought Kong Guan Biscuits

A loose doodle of various Kong Guan biscuits. These loose drawings don't take much time to do, but they're a lot of fun to include. Perhaps I should draw more of these.

Yesterday, I bought some Kong Guan biscuits, the family bag kind with twenty-seven little packets, somewhat on a whim. I made my mom buy them the other day to treat my students after a very chaotic peer-review session. I didn't think much of it at the time. This isn't the sort of snack I'd gravitate towards.

I gave one to my fellow TA. He said he liked a specific one a lot, the one that (to me, quite frankly) looks like a knock-off Oreo, but has a slightly different taste (I think it tastes a bit better). Due to some unforeseen circumstances, we had to end class early, so I thought I'd loiter around to hang out with him.

There were six biscuit packets left in the big bag. He looked happy when he got to take the rest back, so that made me feel like I'd done a good deed. Also, it's incredibly fun to ragebait him. He's fully aware of this, but falls for the ragebait anyway.

Perhaps I was somewhat moved by this memory, and that's why I bought a pack of it for my snack stash. I felt oddly excited when I went home. It's not really because of a crush in hindsight. It's the excitement of making a new friend and hoping you'll see them again.

There were only 2 packets of this  at the grocery store, when there'd usually be a lot more. Glad to see that it's in hot demand and that I'm not too late to snag one of my own!

I was talking to my other TA-colleague and she asked me about my thesis. I talked about it. I was referencing nostalgia and she brought up the idea of food. She said this is why hawkers are a thing, for people to eat the food they used to eat and to therefore feel connected to a memory in a world where the places you used to go to as a kid are all gone.

Logically, I see where she's coming from and it's relevant for my thesis. That said, I only felt that way after I looked at these biscuits and really asked why in God's good earth did I buy this alongside all my bargain vegetables... When I was just supposed to get salmon, broccoli and Nutella...

I mentioned my students, my lovely students, and there's a memory the day before on Friday that made me very happy in hindsight.

After the tutorial, I hung around to answer some questions about the feedback I gave. Honestly, I was expecting more interrogations but I guess these kids are quite thick-skinned. Anyway, as I answered questions, a group of girls said goodbye to me, giving a finger-heart as they left. 

I think they're loyal to me, for some reason. Back in the day, I didn't have very many friends. To see this level of affection from students made me happy.

It's a confusing mess of memories, but I look at these biscuits and think, "Wow, isn't it nice to be surrounded by nice people who genuinely like you?" 

I get existential thoughts that tell me these feelings won't last. People will move on and forget me by the third month. Whatever I do here won't mean anything beyond that. I won't have that lasting impact I secretly craved for.

Yet, even knowing that, I look at these biscuits and I feel happy. It's okay to love people even when I know full well they'll leave one day. I'm trying to embrace that. Life is meant to be happy. Even something as solid as the earth, the ground I stand on, moves and changes.

More biscuits!

I got a haircut on Saturday, which was why I left my house. I'd never do so otherwise. Anyway, this is a scene of a little market of sorts in the mall where they sell street food. I was tempted by the tiramisus and big chunks of Taiwainese-style fried chicken but alas, I was locked in.

Some blurbs

Short blog post today :)

I wanted to share some creative writing blurbs I wrote last night. Also, what do we think of the new layout? I'm still adjusting to it visually, but I want to redo my whole social media presence lately. Who'd knew five weeks of being inactive would suddenly change things...

—

A sunny afternoon lying on the grass with green shadows. Sunlight makes wavy streaks of light on the ground, over the oranges that fell from the trees. They look like jewels buried in tall grass blades.

It's a cool day, and there's a man resting there. He looks up and smiles sleepily. His favourite flowers are the white hydrangeas blooming from the bushes.

—

Beneath the trees, behind the bushes, lies a big man with bulging muscles and a body covered in wild curly hair. His eyes are red against a blue sky. He's bigger than everything else here.

—

A prince finds a golden-skinned woman in a white dress, surrounded by grapes and statues of lions and lovers by a warm sunset.

—

I wrote these as blurbs as copy for the drawings that'll eventually come of this. I'll elaborate more in due course but I want to post these first!!